Thursday, April 30, 2015

Selfie Nation


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Trying to pay attention in a SelfieNation. Why do people take mirror selfies with their iPads, it's just not right.  Today I took a selfie with a live alligator on my head. I took a selfie with my diamond shirt. I'm pretty photogenic because it only took one shot to get this right. Found it on my phone. Apparent I don't remember it. Nothing on this Gods green earth says douchebag like a gym mirror flexing selfie pic...put ya shirt on and go apply for a job.

A while ago I took a selfie with a Google maps car. I just took a selfie with all the rangers. In celebration of opening night being a success, there's a horrid selfie I took on stage floating around the internet. Trying to take an innocent selfie then spotting the heart breaker on your chest...this is why we can't have nice things. Yes I took a selfie while I was there, I took one selfie of you to add to my collection while you were posting your selfies of the crowd. My hair is behaving beautifully today. Thank you hair Gods! Shame the selfie Gods are not shining on me too otherwise I'd show you. Tried to upload a selfie then the power went out. Got a haircut so I must render unto the selfie gods their due and provide proof I still have a face. 

Took another before I went to work and I haven't posted a random selfie in quite some time, if last night doesn't seem like forever. I'm already late for class so why not take a selfie. I thought I looked cute today and then I took a selfie and last night I had a dream that I hung out with Nick Jonas and we took a selfie, then I woke up and it wasn't true. But it is true because had a dream I wanted a quick selfie, but he took me across the world to find the perfect selfie lighting, and we never found it. My mom walked in on me taking a selfie, and I took it anyway, little does she know that she is now on social media. I was feeling so middle class the other day that I went and took a selfie in front of a BMW, jokes on you now it's my car forever. 

Why do people need selfie sticks? If they want the camera farther away, why can't they just have someone else take the picture for them? Every smartphone as a built in timer. Why take a selfie with a middle finger? Give me your address so I can send you an Avril Lavigne album to go with your rebellion. Why the hell have I run out of storage I was just about to take a selfie, I did not buy a 6 plus for this kind of abuse. Please don't choose the shortest person there to take the group selfie. Big art galleries are now taking it seriously, so they created The Selfie Museum. I think it's a proven fact that I am not photogenic at all that's why it takes me 1828383 pics to take a 1 decent selfie. Justin Bieber is online so why can't he take a selfie already and post it ughh. Who the hell is Jacob and why do I need to take a selfie for him? #selfieforjacob. I'm just like Shazam because I got struck by lightning, but instead of giving me the powers of the gods it ruined my selfie stick. The End


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