WASHINGTON, D.C.— Creepy Joe Biden has committed to wearing a mask in public to be a good example and to prevent the spread of COVID-19.
Aides were disappointed and a little frightened, however, when Biden immediately cut a large ass hole in the middle of the mask so he could continue to invade people's personal space and sniff their hair, necks, and faces. Creepy shit!!!
"That's better," he said as he cut a big hole for his schnoz. "Now I'm protecting against infection and I'm still able to give the ladies a good sniff.
You know, in my day, I wore a mask just like this, as was the fashion at the time. All the kids at the pool would ask to play with the mask, and they'd run their fingers through it. In fact, one time, a gangster named CornPop was about to go cause some trouble at the sock hop, and I put some rocks in my mask and started swinging it around like a sling.
You know, real Daniel and Goliath type stuff. He looked at me, tears in his eyes, and promised never again to go out and cause a ruckus."
"Anyway, that's why I'm your best choice for senator of the Roman Empire. Vote for Joe!"